Smelling The Roses

Over the past month and a half I feel like I've been on the worlds largest roller coaster, with no end in sight. Long downward drops, steep uphill climbs, fast corners that rip your head back and to the side, all the while trying to remain calm and optimistic.

I've spoken to many of you personally, through email, and text message. Keeping in contact with my friends and family are important to me. I don't want to be unplugged, unreachable, or locked away. I've received hundreds of prayers, well wishes, letters of encouragement, and tokens of support and friendship. You will never know or understand how much this helps me get through each day.

Connecting with each of you is just as therapeutic for me as I assume it is for you. I could not imagine trying to fight this fight without all of you at my side. I want everyone who is interested to know what's happening and stay connected (I assume that's the case if you are reading this.) And while I will continue to share updates and what is happening next, the level of detail is not important, in fact it causes me stress because I'm not able to answer everyone's questions, you guys are a smart bunch of cookies.

As I had mentioned a few days ago, we had a very important and critical meeting with a doctor to discuss the mountain of test data and talk about surgical options. We had the meeting. We talked about each option and each possibility. The bottom line after the meeting was it's a tough call. I don't want this to come across as a negative why me, why me, discussion. The plain truth is, this is a tough cancer, in a tough spot, combined with other health issues I have, makes surgery an even tougher and more risky proposition than we had hoped. And of course chemo and radiation are on the table as well. Neither is fun, and neither are the ultimate answer, because there just isn't one. It's picking the lesser of two evils so I can continue to fight a good fight.

One thing I've tried to remember is no one is to blame for this cancer, except possible choices I've made with my health. I'm not questioning my faith in God, not blaming God or anyone else for that matter.  I don't have time, patience, or energy to blame. As most of my friends and family will attest, I'm someone who wants to move fast. I'm ready, have been ready, for several weeks, to get a treatment plan underway.

Please understand things like stage, phase, life expectancy, percentage, time frame, aren't important for our discussions. That's personal and private, and only cause me and my family stress having to discuss them over and over again. My sweet wife is dealing with something far beyond what either of us could have imagined at this time in our life. I'm heartbroken the worry, stress, and uncertainty this brings her, and the tough decisions we need to make. I'm heartbroken my children have to experience worry, stress and uncertainty about this as well.

I'm smelling the roses while I still can. Everyday grows more precious. I'm not worrying about the coulda, shoulda, wouldas. Doing the things we keep putting off for another day. That day is here.

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Still Waiting Part Deux

I'm still here, waiting. I've been reminded on numerous occasions that waiting is probably the best thing right now, because we want all the doctors to have the information they need to come up with the best course of treatment. But that doesn't change the fact I'm getting extremely impatient.

I don't really have anything new to report. I'm meeting with a surgeon tomorrow who could potentially be performing a liver resection. I'm hoping the discussion is that she is ready to move on to the next phase which is actually doing the surgery.

Next week is Salt Lake Comic Con FanX, and I have a concert on the calendar for next week as well. Those are two things I've been looking forward to for some time, and purchased tickets well before my diagnosis. I'm going to be bummed if I can't attend either of these (I may need to sell my VIP Comic Con ticket.)

I will update again tomorrow after I've had a chance to meet with the surgeon. Again, thank you for all the support, love, and encouragement.

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Angiogram

Over the past couple of days my dad has had a few tests to determine if he would be a good candidate for a procedure that would allow the doctors to surgically remove the tumor on his liver. We still don't know the outcome of the Pet Scan from last week, but the Angiogram performed today seemed to have very positive results. The Angiogram test was to take a picture of how his blood vessels are laid out and how they supply blood to the liver and surrounding organs.

We're hoping the oncologist and surgeon find both tests positive so a surgical procedure can be performed that will help my dad fight the cancer quicker. More to follow.

 As always, we appreciate the love, thoughts and prayers from everyone.

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Wristbands

Hey everyone,

My dad wanted a wristband (the rubber kind) in his cancer color to wear, and a few family members have them to. If you would like one I can get you one for $3.50 a piece. Where I get them, they do not have child ones but you could always get those online (Amazon) or here and here.

Please contact me at ashlenalley@gmail if you would like me to get you one!

Thanks.

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Colorado Avalanche Secure Playoff Berth

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This Sunday

We are having a fast for my dad this coming Sunday the 30th of March for very positive results from tests he's taking over the next few days.

We continue to appreciate all of the prayers, words of encouragement and love from all of you. Thank you.

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THANK YOU!

I want to take a minute and thank everyone, my wife Gina, without her I would be completely lost. My wonderful children, Jake, Linsey, Ashley and Jessica, for all of their support, help and daily encouragement. The hundreds of family and friends who have reached out and helped, offered prayers, and more encouragement. You'll never know how grateful I am.

I must admit it's a little overwhelming to feel the amount of love and concern. There is nothing more valuable to me than the love of my God, my family, and my friends.

We'll have more to share over the next few days. Things are progressing, and I'll continue to need everyones positive vibes. I love all of you.

With a very sincere heart,

--Thom

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Chemotherapy Class

Utah Cancer Specialists offers a class on the chemotherapy process and what to expect in the clinic. Gina and I attended last night (not wasting any time to learn what I'm in for). The class was very informative and I learned a couple of things:

1. My therapy will last about 4.5 hours once a week. The clinic offers a great lounge type area, big chairs, and of course, wifi. All electronic devices are welcomed, so I'm good to go.

2. Quickly my immune system will be impaired and I'll be more susceptible to infection and illness. So, that means lots of hand sanitizer, clean surfaces, and unfortunately, can't be around anyone who is sick or have been exposed to someone who is sick. My white blood cells will be reduced because of the chemo making it extremely difficult to fight off normal sickness.

3. There are about 10 different side affects, none of which I want, but can assume I'll have several.

A couple of things need to be done before I can start chemo (getting my liver to function properly), then the long journey.

Peace.

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Meeting With the Oncologist

First of all, I cannot express how positive and hopeful my parents felt after leaving Dr. Nibley’s Office this morning. My dad is in good hands for sure! 

The first person they met with was Audrey, my dads patient advocate. She takes care of the insurance and financial stuff and also the supportive services like classes. All the classes are free. She gave a schedule of these classes to my mom and dad so they can sign up for them if they want to. There is a fishing trip on the schedule as well! Cool!

Next they met with Dr. Nibley’s P.A., Melissa. She was very kind and after going over my dads medical records and health history, she answered some of their initial questions and then checked my dads incisions and such to make sure everything was healing well and also took a blood sample to check his bilirubin levels. She said my dads cancer was somewhere between stages 2 and 3. Definitely not 4! YAY! There was some new information that Melissa gave them, that probably doesn’t matter at this point, but it was that my dads gallbladder had cancer in it. But that doesn’t change anything… even if the gallbladder was the “primary” source of cancer, the treatment for gallbladder cancer and liver cancer is pretty much the same.

Proposed Treatment

When Dr. Nibley came into the room, he pulled out a sheet of paper and drew pictures while he explained things and then proposed his suggestions for a moderately-aggressive treatment plan.  He was very positive and upbeat and mentioned several times about what an advantage it was that my dad is so young ;) He totally expects my dads body to respond well to the treatment. However, before the chemo/radiation can begin, Dr. Nibley wants to make sure that the liver is functioning properly because the chemo drugs will be processed through the liver and it needs to be as healthy as possible. 

Because there is a risk that the large tumor could shift and squeezes off the bile duct again, he would still like a bile drain to be surgically installed. He plans to consult with Dr. Bladder, the radiologist/surgeon who “unsuccessfully” attempted this last week, to see what may be done to accomplish this successfully this time. Dr. Nibley was always very patient and compassionate and offered much hope!

As soon as possible, after my dads liver is functioning properly, he will be given a round of chemo therapy and radiation therapy. Dr. Nibley said that a round is basically 3 weeks of chemo/radiation and 1 week rest. After each round of treatment, my dads tumors will be measured to see if they are shrinking which is the main goal at this point.  

Note:  In case any of you are wondering… surgically removing the large tumor is not advisable because of its position near many vital organs.  (We asked if the tumors shrank enough could surgically removing them eventually be a possibility, and he didn’t completely discount that idea…) We also asked Dr. Nibley if a liver transplant could be an option but he said in the case of cancer it is not typically approved due to the fact that small cancerous cells can still be lurking within the body. Liver transplants for cancer patients has not been highly successful.

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Update 1

Let's start from the beginning for those who are just tuning in.

On March 5th my dad went into surgery to have his gall bladder removed. While in the surgery the surgeon found a large mass on his liver. They sent a piece of the tumor to pathology for biopsy.

 

A week later we still had no answers, and the results of the tests were all incongruent. He had a CT scan done to find out if there were more tumors and where the primary source of the cancer cells were coming from. The scan didn't show any other tumors but that the large mass was in fact, cancerous. Now we just needed to know where it had come from.

 

Dr. Ayers, who is a Doctor at Intermountain Medical Center, classified Thom’s type of cancer as “Cholangiocarcinoma” also known as “Bile Duct Cancer”. One bile duct on Thom’s liver is blocked with cancerous tumors and is being identified at this time as the primary source of cancer which has metastasized and formed a larger tumor that sits against the liver and is responsible for squeezing off a second bile duct (healthy) causing Thom’s jaundice condition.  Here’s the miracle….During Saturday’s endoscopy/surgery the surgeon discovered that Thomas’ large tumor somehow had (miraculously) shifted its position which in turn freed the healthy bile duct from being pinched off.  Nothing but a miracle!  Thank you for your prayers!  (This explains why Thomas’ condition began to improve suddenly last Thursday.) 

During the surgery on Saturday, the surgeon wasn't able to insert the stent into the smaller bile duct because of the tumors getting in the way so the plan is now to begin chemotherapy and shrink the tumors which will allow insertion of the stent at another time.

Yesterday, Dr. Ayers released Thomas from the hospital with the instructions to eat non-greasy and non-oily foods which is funny because right after the doctor stepped out of the hospital room, the staff brought in a meal for Thom consisting of  Roast with plenty of mashed potatoes and gravy…Not exactly non-greasy foods…..hahaha.  Crazy.   Needless to say, Gina is very relieved to have checked Thom out of that hospital and they are home at this time.

Going forward….

Thomas has an appointment Tuesday, March 25^th, with Dr. Nibley who was Chandy’s cancer doctor. She and Gary (Gina's brother) love him and his staff which is very comforting and encouraging. It is expected that plans will be made to begin chemo treatments very soon.

Please feel free to come visit Thom. We do not want anyone to feel that they are not invited to come visit and spend time with our family. We do ask that you please remember we are trying to focus on my dad and help him the best we can, as well as texts, phone calls, FB messages and emails. It is a bit overwhelming for us so we have decided to have Lisa and Jennifer be the advocate for extended family, friends and neighbors with questions in regards to my dad. We would really like to focus on my dad and this process.

We haven't had that much information ourselves, and we are not trying to exclude anyone else from the information we do have. We have decided this blog is the best for updates so please feel free to share with family and/or friends. We will update this blog with the latest as soon as we have it ourselves. We are hoping it will be a few times a week, if not daily and will not start until this Tuesday after meeting the oncologist.

We are so thankful for all of the love, support, prayers, dinners made, blessings, fasting, thoughts and words of encouragement and comfort. We are so blessed to know all of you.

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The Big "C" Has Invaded My Life

I'm fairly young, 46 as I write this, not in shape like my Marine days, but I can generally hold my own. But of all the things I thought would come my way this year health wise, the one thing that wasn't on my radar, even remotely, was cancer.

Saying cancer isn't as tough as I thought it would be. What's tougher are the emotions that come along with it. The what's next, the when's, the why's, the how longs, pissed my wife has to deal with this, pissed my kids have to deal with this, and grateful for all the love and support my family and friends have shown me.

I have a long road to walk. A lot of unknowns. A lot of time to think about my life, what I've done, and what I still want to do. I seriously don't know what this means for my life expectancy, but to tell you the truth, I'm more worried about fighting it, winning, and moving on. I could use your prayers, your thoughts, your good vibes, not just for me, but for my Family as well.

I like my blog, it's my personal space. Generally it's been about tech stuff, but now I will add this part of my life too.

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Fleetwood Mac Aging But Like A Fine Wine

http://youtu.be/35EQxchPwuI

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Lights On The Water

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The Coach Who Never Punts

Apply this type of attitude to business, and life, and you'll be a winner for sure. This video should be shared with everyone from the mail room to the board room.

"There are those kinds of people that want to be different because they just want to be different, and there are those kinds of people that want to be different because they are looking for something to help them be more successful." ... beautiful.

This coach takes a calculated risk every time he goes out on the field. He knows the percentages, who knows the odds; he generally knows what his team can and will do. What's interesting I think, is that he removes the the one factor that most football players expect, to punt on 4th down.

I can remember as a football player I hated punting. I hated it for a few reasons. One, I wasn't on special teams as it's called, and so I had to come out, which really sucks. Two, most of the time we could have made the yardage needed for a first down, but were denied the opportunity to try because traditionally if you punt you have a better chance of stopping the other team from scoring, and giving yourself another shot to score. But that is really not true.

Thirdly, it gave the entire team the feeling they were failing and the coaching staff didn't trust them to make the big plays. This is very demoralizing.

Do you give your team the same out? Do you push them to play through the fourth down, or cut out early on a project, scale back deliverables because there doesn't appear to be enough time, or the challenge seems to difficult? I would suspect a good leader, someone who knows their team, knows their ability, knows their drive, will let the team push through on fourth and goal, and not opt out for success.

I know the entrepreneur mantra is fail and fail often to reach success. I agree nothing is gained with nothing attempted, and this coaches attitude and drive would seem to fit right along those lines. Don't quit on fourth down, the odds are in your favor for success.

#business #leadership #life

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Early To Rise

Love a good sun rise.

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Accidental Fry

Accidentally took this at lunch a few days ago. Looks cool to me. #pressgram

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Trying And Failing Really Sucks

I've always been the type of person who wants to learn everything. I have spent a good portion of my life trying to stay ahead of whatever curve was in front of me for fear that I would be left behind. So in a mad dash to make sure I'm immersed in whatever will help me stay ahead (programming, mobile, fitness), I take on about 100% more than I can actually do. I know from past experience I will fail at some things, find I don't have time for others, or decide to change course. But all of this mean many things fail, and that really sucks.

I know failing is the new word for try. As Yoda says "do or do not, there is no try." I don't know anyone who likes failing. A couple of days ago I was having a discussion with someone who was trying to decide what type of decision maker I was. Would I be someone who would try a hundred things until I found the right answer, or would I take my time, think through a problem, look at multiple options, then make a decision. I know in their mind they liked the try and fail a hundred times option because it "looked" like effort was being made. But I'm the later. I can make quick decisions if I'm given enough information. And for the times when I have very little information, I might take longer to make a decision. There are few cases in this world where choosing to fail a hundred times at something to come up with a solution trumps thinking through a decision, either in your head or with a team.

So why am I bringing this up? Well, all of this start, stop, fail, succeed, has given me an opportunity to think of what's next. Martin Sheen's character President Bartlet in the TV series The West Wing used the phrase "what's next?" when he got the point and wanted to move on. I love that phrase. I've done the same things  for over 30 years, now I want to move on... what's next?


Here are a few things on my What's Next list:

• I'm finally over managing web servers. I can't stand it any more, and I simply don't have the stomach to worry about all the possible issues that could go wrong. It's not part of my core focus. So I'll be transitioning all of my websites onto something that some company manages for me. I just want to write.


• Speaking of writing, that's the next big part of my next... writing more. Expanding and broadening my knowledge of some technologies, exploring their long term values, and of course finally putting pen to paper (so to speak) on Old Coder Comics. I've had this idea for a while, and I really want to put some effort into that. I also want to finally finish the ten sci-fi and thriller stories I've started and stopped.


• Fitness. It's never been part of my everyday fabric. But it needs to be.


• Photography. This is simply a pleasurable thing. But my problem has been putting in the time to really learn the craft. I don't want to be a pro. I don't want to call myself a photographer (so I don't incense my real photographer friends), but I do take pictures.

While I've spent a good majority of my life learning the intricacies of programming languages, staying up all night to write code, fix a broken site, and generally try to come up with ideas for the next big thing, it's simply not what I truly want to focus on. I'll try and fail for sure at some of this. Failing really sucks, but, it's also a great way to learn. I've sure typed a bunch of I's in this post. But that's what you get today.

Photo credit andrewhurley

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Patriot Day 2013

In remembrance of September 11th, 2001. I'm sure there are more who have passed on because of direct or indirect injuries from that day. They aren't on my wall, but I feel them and their families the same. 9-11 has become a day to remember loved ones lost and fallen heroes. But mostly I want to remember today as a day of courage and resolve to stand up for what is right. I play for this team, and will defend it to the end. Nothing is perfect. We just need to do good.

 

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Salt Lake Comic Con 2013

Comic Con in Salt Lake City was certainly a success for sponsors and more or less for fans. The mother of Comic Cons in San Diego California had approximately 130,000 attendees, and Salt Lake, a first year con, had nearly 80,000 attendees on the final day. By noon on Saturday, the fire marshal threatened to shut the Salt Palace down because of potential safety risks. Some ticket holders were turned away, what a disappointment.

Generally I was pretty impressed with the organization and the quality of artists and panel speakers. There were several instances of confusion, especially the registration system meltdown on Saturday, and lack of attendees willing to pay additional money to high-profile celebs speak (William Shatner being one).

Now on to the positive. The art displayed was amazing. The image above is a life-size replica of the White Orc from The Hobbit, created by Weta Workshop. The New Zealand company had a great showing. There were also a number of well-known artists and just as many indie guys showing off their wares.

Overall I would say as a con goer this was an impressive first showing. There are obviously kinks to work out, and the group has a year to make it happen. I purchased some books and comics which I'll link to below.

The Runelords by David Farland. David is a great writer and has several books on the market. Checkout his Amazon page here. (Affiliate link)

Met an author named Michaelbrent Collins, yes, spelt correctly. A lady working at his booth sold me on a unique zombie story called The Colony: Genesis. On the back of the jacket it reads "In under 10 minutes, 99.9% of the world's population will be dead... Or changed. Conversion is instant. Headshots just make them angry. And they're getting smarter." Wow what a great hook. Had me, so I bought. Hope the story lives up to the great description.

Then I ran into a graphic novelist named Dixon Mullins, who has created a series called M.I.S//ing, a take on he IT world. Seemed pretty cool, and she had a great deal so I bought. Looking forward to reading the three volumes I purchased.

One final note, I've been to dozens of cons and I'm a little more strategic than most. I plan and plan my schedule for efficiency, giving me time to see everything, eat, drink, pee, and learn. I wish more people did this, I think the overall experience would be better.

See ya next year. (Get the VIP pass for sure).

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Google+ Blogging For The Past Month

This past month I took a challenge from +Mike Elgen to blog exclusively on. Turns out I was about as hit and miss with long form posts as I am here on thomallen.com. I always post short form images, links and likes several times a day, that didn't change. Bottom line, I didn't blog any more or less.

On the subject of blogging and this site, a friend has gone through my blog and given me some pointers on SEO. I suck at SEO and he doesn't, so I'm listening to him. His suggestions included blogging more often, longer, and on topics that are consistent. I've always looked at my blog as a personal space, no ads, no real focus that you could count on day in and day out. As it turns out, that's what I'll use Google+ for, the stuff that is more off topic than what I write here.

What did I learn from this experiment besides my posting habits? I made a lot of new connections. One of the things I miss here on my blog are social connections. Sure, someone can comment, but it ends there. Unless I actively seek them out on other sites, like their blog or Twitter or Google+, I'm less likely to engage with them. That has always been a problem for me. Social sites at least let me say in contact with the people I want to interact with.

I've also learned that successful posts, posts that have value to the reader and the search engines aren't the quick and dirty posts. There has to be meat and substance, both of which I have neglected the more I involve myself with social networks like Twitter and Google+.

For what it's worth, thank you for reading, and I hope you come back often. If you still subscribe via RSS, the link is here. Check out the right sidebar for more places to follow me which I leave links to new posts on this site.

Image link: glenn-

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