First let me start out by saying this is a little off topic for me, but I've wanted to write on it for a while. Personal networking. It's something I've used for years. Here is my take on personal networks, branding and all the you/me/we mantra that has been floating around.
I've been building my network of people and companies since 1988. Yes, I was building a network of people since before there was even a name for it. While I was in the service I found out that at times it was who you knew rather than who you were. I understood that if I wanted something I had to know the right people and they had to know me. So I started making note of the key players; what they liked, what they disliked, who could be trusted and who couldn't.
Once I got out of the military the technique stayed with me as I started to build may career. That network has served me well as I moved up the ladder in the technology field. But this is where the story becomes frustrating for me.
For all of you who are experts at social networking, what's the problem here? If you are steadfast in keeping your network up to date and in tune, why does this happen?
When I call you or we meet, and I casually ask for your business and you tell me it's not the right time or maybe down the road; to then find out you actually used a competitor when you needed to make a purchase, did you forget about me? Were you embarrassed? Did you think I would gouge you? Did you think I lacked the proper skills? The most common excuse is "oh yeah, I forgot!" It's even worse when it's a family member or close friend.
So how do we eliminate this problem? When someone thinks "I need to buy a home", or "I need to buy a car", or "I need to buy xxx", what has HAD to happen in order for the person in your network to pick up the phone and call YOU instead of someone else? Do we need tools, and if so what kinds? Do we need more face to face contact? Can it depend on your product or service? Can a network cultivated while engaged in one profession be used after engaging in a new profession?
I am conducing research with this post. I want to send a link out inviting several "players" to give me their answers. What are your thoughts? Have you truly had success networking? Here is a link to a post on JibberJobber about a similar subject. The comments of this post are pretty positive about networking. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I think networking has huge advantages over not networking. But there are some fundamental problems in what is happening and I want to know what it is.
Here are a few sites that discuss this topic often; I hope they respond and share their thoughts.
Let me hear what you have to say. Next up: Personal Branding.
Monday, April 9, 2007
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"Networking" is a funny thing. I hated "networking" when I "had to" ... that is when I got laid off in Jan 2006. I despised networking with other unemployed people, after all, wasn't there a reason why they were unemployed?
ReplyDeleteI changed my attitude about networking and began to focus on relationships. And I tried to give what I could, which mostly was introducing people to other people. I couldn't make two people like eachother or move forward, but I could introduce them.
In the last six months I've seen significant benefit from the relationships I've developed. I'm not sure why (in other words, I can't say that any particular thing constitutes a secret sauce, or special formula). There have been a number of times when "super networkers" let me down - their own judgement call or "personal policy" didn't make sense to me.
I quietly moved on, without holding a grudge, and went somewhere else. Sometimes I've gone back and the relationship is still great, the timing (or my desire) just wasn't right.
I'll continue to work on relationships, and give where I can. What I've started to do lately is something that I've neglected for a while - that is, ask. And when I ask for things it's been well-received.
I'm not sure how to specifically answer your concern about friend, family and network contacts not giving business that you expect, or that you deserve. I think the only thing you can do is forget about it (very hard to do), continue give, and work on the relationship.
Networking would be a lot easier without the human element... but I'm guessing we won't get away from that anytime soon. So with the human element it remains extremely complex and unpredictable.
Jason Alba
CEO - JibberJobber.com
In the end, there are some people who are uncomfortable doing business with friends. They would rather have a stranger take advantage of them than deal with the discomfort of trying to do business with someone they know.
ReplyDeleteLaura, you elude that the person will ultimately be taken advantage of so better to make it by someone you don't know that someone you do? I'm hoping that we have more faith in people than that.
ReplyDeleteJason Alba, thanks for the response.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong; I don't think I'm ENTITLED to anything. I just know I work hard at building relationships and at times just find it difficult to understand someones thought process.
I never hold a grudge. I used to. It was very painful. But as I've come to understand human behavior more, I quickly move on to something else. But as you stated, it's something that will continue to happen and there isn't a whole lot we can do about it.